out of habit…..

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i'm out of habit.

being a creative person has ebb and flow…. and there has been a serious ebb here. going on a few months now. for the longest time i tried to manually override it. but then i realized some part of me just needed to check out. needed some some time, some breathing room. i know that probably sounds crazy to some of you. and the other part of you are like holy crap, i so get that.

so i put it all down. the pen. the camera. the sewing needle. we ordered more pizza and bought bread in a bag. have i told you i hate bread in a bag? at first i thought it was winter. but the truth is…. i think i needed a cocoon period. we all do sometimes. the more i nurture the creative part of my spirit, the more i realize this ebb and flow to be part of my natural state. and i'm getting better at letting her rest without taking any huge actions. it's really okay to drop off and pick up. you know? it's ok to not be prolific all the time in whatever your creative calling is. art. photography. craft. food. it's good to figure out how to embrace that in breath. and i mean on the whole…. as in lengths of time that feel like "in breath" or "out breath". i have needed a huge, huge in breath in life. my creative soul and my over analyzing mind have been having a party these last few weeks. but i just did my best to roll with it and let it all be. sort of like the way you deal with monkey mind when you are trying to be still. damn that monkey…..

that sort of makes me sound crazy. which is partly true. but i'm starting to exhale. i feel those gears shifting and i'm just taking it all in stride and not rushing things along. i'm getting back in the studio. pulling out things that feed my heart. picking up the camera again. writing bits here and there about everything and nothing. baking bread. the habits are returning. little by little. new and old. and have i told you how much i love a thick slice of bread smeared with butter and jam? i suppose i have…..

happy weekending dear ones.

xo,

s

 

15 thoughts on “out of habit…..

  1. I totally get it.
    For me, it’s usually a break on the physical side — been pushing myself too hard going to work, getting everything “done”, and then need to just go slow, eat well, and play for a bit every day to better handle life’s demands.

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  2. Happy Weekend to you too! Yes I agree with the in and out. I let my hobbies do that too. I put down my drawing pencils for 5 years until one day I picked them up again this past January….

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  3. I get it. You should see my pantry. You might be appalled by the amount of food in boxes situation. Or not. It’s okay. I’m not perfect. I lose steam and inspiration and sometimes a family just needs to know what it’s like to eat frozen pizza or whatever. It doesn’t mean we are less worthy, but only that something else is pulling in a different direction. I’m looking forward to wanting to bake bread again too and to piece together a quilt for my bed, and to learn how to knit a shawl and to finish that novel on my nightstand that’s been collecting dust for the last couple of weeks. We will get there. Love this post. Always happy to read your words.

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  4. If I saw those things in your pantry, I would feel a sigh of relief that we all have these times…. we are all in this together. Parenting, working, living. And I truly believe that a loaf of bummer store bought bread and a few frozen pizzas every now and then bring some gratitude back to the meals that are pulled together with so much time and love put into them. Time away from our art brings gratitude to our hearts when we are called back to it….. we will get there too….

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  5. I think everything has its time…… and I’m learning to be kinder to myself when the time is not now. For whatever reason that may be. I’m glad you’re drawing again KC 🙂

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  6. This reminds me of a saying in Karate Kid, too much of one thing is not good for you. Even I have gone nuts, being a freelancer I keep being on the computer and trying to work and really, lost my charm. I am not a tall planning things out to have fun and not happy about it. Your right our mind needs to be at rest and calm, or else the monkey mind just drives you spend your energy on something or other, and its kills your productivity and peace of the soul. I do write stories you know, and I don’t have the talent of making rooms beautiful like you do, with things like painting, decoration… you surely are creative girl!!!

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  7. Good morning! And welcome back. That makes total sense. Because there’s a point where all of those beautiful and creative projects can feel like a form of work, and then where is your outlet when you need one? Blogging too I suspect. But that’s the beauty of taking a break. It rejuvenates you – and the creativity never goes away. It just changes form and picks up elsewhere. It’s good to know you’re ok. I was worried. I hope as the warm weather returns, and the outside projects pick up that you find yourself immersed and passionate in one of the many many things that you love an are good at. 😊

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  8. Thank you so much for the sweet words. And you are right, blogging does become work sometimes too. It’s funny…. for awhile I thought about letting it go. It was just hard to show up. But instead I just let myself off the hook for feeling like I “had” to do anything. After awhile I felt like I had something to say again. Or share. Blogging has been the longest hobby I’ve ever stuck with it….. so it makes sense to have some growing pains I guess. Anyhow….. thank you for the kind words. They made me smile 🙂

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  9. i completely get it… and actually you describe it very well 🙂 sometimes i hit that rut and i have no drive or desire for any of it… and i am also learning to just let go when that starts happening and not push it. just as you said.

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