I've been mulling over some thoughts in my mind and heart these last few days. Thinking. This last move made number six for our family. I always think it will get easier, but it doesn't. In truth, I think it gets harder.
I know that all the goodbye's before got me to the place I just left, and that something good is waiting for us at the next place we'll call home. I told my sweet southern friend that all the leaving I had done before had gotten me to her. Bittersweet indeed. But every piece of this journey holds a bit of magic. This I truly believe.
Saying goodbye is hard, but you pull together the best you can and get through it. It's the moments after that are harder to get through for me. It's always the little things that do it. That last look around. The letting go of what was once home…. it's so hard. You can never take everything, things will be left or forgotten. Sometimes things hold such strong sweet memories for us that we are torn to let them go. As if we're afraid their meaning will be lost with them…. as if what is everything in this moment will fade. And some of it will, of course. It always does. Even if you never move or leave….. life is always shifting and changing.
This table is one of those things for us. It started as a simple work table for Joe, but after a very worrisome phone call from family he found himself in the garage sketching away as he waited for an update. Praying, hoping, sketching. It grew from there. Visitors made their mark as we sipped home brew or made grilled pizza outdoors. If you stopped by to visit when the months were warm and we were out of doors, we'd have handed you a marker or paint pen. The kids left messages. We all wrote down song lyrics… and sketched and doodled……
I watched each of the kids evolve as artists over the three years it was in the garage. It was something I never imagined would come along, it's far to large and heavy. But I don't want to forget it. The messages. The doodles. The worries and love and fun that line by line and shape by shape made it what it became. I want to share it with you, in hopes I will remember…..