thoughts on leaving…..

I've been mulling over some thoughts in my mind and heart these last few days. Thinking. This last move made number six for our family. I always think it will get easier, but it doesn't. In truth, I think it gets harder. 

I know that all the goodbye's before got me to the place I just left, and that something good is waiting for us at the next place we'll call home. I told my sweet southern friend that all the leaving I had done before had gotten me to her. Bittersweet indeed. But every piece of this journey holds a bit of magic. This I truly believe. 

Saying goodbye is hard, but you pull together the best you can and get through it. It's the moments after that are harder to get through for me. It's always the little things that do it. That last look around. The letting go of what was once home…. it's so hard. You can never take everything, things will be left or forgotten. Sometimes things hold such strong sweet memories for us that we are torn to let them go. As if we're afraid their meaning will be lost with them…. as if what is everything in this moment will fade. And some of it will, of course. It always does. Even if you never move or leave….. life is always shifting and changing. 

This table is one of those things for us. It started as a simple work table for Joe, but after a very worrisome phone call from family he found himself in the garage sketching away as he waited for an update. Praying, hoping, sketching. It grew from there. Visitors made their mark as we sipped home brew or made grilled pizza outdoors. If you stopped by to visit when the months were warm and we were out of doors, we'd have handed you a marker or paint pen. The kids left messages. We all wrote down song lyrics… and sketched and doodled……

 

thoughts on leaving.....

 

thoughts on leaving.....

 

thoughts on leaving.....

 

thoughts on leaving.....

 

thoughts on leaving.....

 

thoughts on leaving.....

 

I watched each of the kids evolve as artists over the three years it was in the garage. It was something I never imagined would come along, it's far to large and heavy. But I don't want to forget it. The messages. The doodles. The worries and love and fun that line by line and shape by shape made it what it became. I want to share it with you, in hopes I will remember…..

 

14 thoughts on “thoughts on leaving…..

  1. Oh, you know that I *know*! I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what will be going with us and what will be staying behind… There is a cupboard in our kitchen (kind of a broom closet, actually) that has height lines marked inside for every kid that has ever lived in this house, including mine. Obviously, we have to leave it behind. But I’ve been trying to think of a clever way to take some memory of it with us…

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  2. I think this is why cameras were invented. It’s never as good, of course…it couldn’t possibly be. But a photo is so much smaller to carry than a table.

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  3. I love your table! This should follow you where ever you go!
    I felt like I was always bouncing from one place to the next, but I have been in this location for 13 years, which is quite a long time for me. But because of your husbands work, you really don’t have a choice but to set down shallow roots. As you mentioned, you have met some fabulous friends along the way, many of whom will always color your life with joy.
    I think we all have to embrace the lives we are led to live, even if there are many good-byes sprinkled in. You get to experience lots of hello’s 🙂

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  4. I totally get it! Selling everything we had was quite hard. I kept meaning to write and ask you for advice since you’ve moved many times before. All that we have now fits into a hotel room. 4 suitcases and 8 small boxes. I would have had a very time parting with a table like that. I’m glad you took pictures. I did that for many of the things my girls made that I couldn’t bring along.
    And as for leaving people I had no idea how hard that would actually be. I’ve never actually moved away before. It hurt like a knife to my heart. But with time it does get easier. Especially with this online community to help keep my spirits up!

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  5. Just wanted to say that I been enjoying your blog. My husband is in the Foreign Service, and we move every few years as well but internationally. One is coming up in two weeks, in fact, from Namibia back to DC for a couple of years, and then out again. I understand your feelings regarding moves!

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  6. The hello's are the saving grace of it all. Even in the hardest moments. I'm hopeful that *just maybe* we'll be able to stay in this next place for more than four years. Time will tell, and another table will be built……

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  7. Oh KC, I've thought of you often. It is so very hard. Bittersweet. Somehow this is a piece of your journey, and the beginning of a wonderful new adventure. Much love to you…… and thank goodness for cameras 🙂

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  8. Thank you for saying hello 😉 I started this whole moving (aka following the husband's career) seeing so many people not love or enjoy where they were. I have always done my best to really get to know and love each place. This of course has it's downfall. The goodbye's are so very hard……. but I remind myself that the tears mean I truly loved it. And that is the best thing I could have done. I always hope the kids notice this………

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  9. We live on the street I grew up on and hopefully will never move away, but I relate to this a tiny bit because I’m having a yard sale and am determined to de-clutter…saying goodbye to even little sentimental things – let alone something with so much love like this table – gets me all nostalgic.

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  10. It's so hard to let some of those things go….. but I must admit I always feel better after I declutter. Having all that open space and everything in it's place is so good for my mind….

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