I am sometimes surprised to find I am still getting to know myself. It's a funny thing, isn't it? The idea of discovering what is right beneath your nose. And sometimes you are the last to know, the last to realize something about you.
As I prepared for a long day of driving this weekend, I awoke before the alarm. I found myself in the kitchen, eyes still heavy with sleep, pulling ingredients out for cookies as I waited for the coffee. Peanut butter and dark chocolate chips. As the cookies cooled I made two jars of herbal tea, one with honey & one without, and a double batch of popcorn. Before I had thought much about it, I had made food for my trip that day and for my family to snack on while I was away.
As Jade helped me prepare she smiled and said, "food is your thing mom."
And while part of this is born from my desire to nourish my family and travel frugally….. another part of it is something more. In times of stress, I cook. It's meditative for me. I get lost amongst ingredients and preparations. I pour my love into my work and it heals my soul. Calms my nerves. It is my magic.
I drove the first 30 minutes of my trip in a silent car, pondering this. Snack basket beside me. On my way to pick up our oldest from school, and bring him home to attend locally. This had been a difficult decision for us to come to, one we arrived at with heavy hearts. Sometimes this parenting gig is a tough one.
But those moments in the kitchen that morning brought my heart peace and clarity. I felt better prepared to handle the day before me with patience and love. And empathy.
And of course, really good cookies.